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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (10126)	6/4/1999 8:53:00 AM
From: paul t	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The Disaster -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Oh, No!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "Danny, Danny" he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move, at least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "Danny!" From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard. "It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "and for heaven's sake, clean up this room."

To: Tomato who wrote (10126)	6/4/1999 4:28:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Respond to of 62549

"The trouble did not begin with the apple in the tree, but with the pair on the ground."

To: Tomato who wrote (10126)	6/6/1999 11:20:00 AM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

"Amazing Math?" This Truly Amazing! I was amazed by this one! This is great!! You have to make sure that you follow the steps accordingly. If you do this right and don't cheat, you'll be amazed by what you learn!!.. STEP ONE Pick a number between 1 and 100.Multiply it by 5. Add your age. Minus the number in your family. Divide the number by 10 (rounding to the nearest whole number). Write down the number on 1 side of a piece of paper. STEP TWO Pick another different number between 1 and 100. Multiply by 1998. Add the number in your family. Minus your age. Divide the number by 10 (rounding to the nearest whole number). Write down the number on the other side of the piece of paper. STEP THREE Take the first 2 digits of your home phone number. Add them to the last 2 digits of your work number. Multiply by 365. Write the number on a new sheet of paper. STEP FOUR Fold the first page in half. Now fold the second page. Place them side by side. Now pick up the two sheets (sheet 1 in your left hand, sheet 2 in your right hand). Divide the sum of both pages by pi (3.14) SCROLL DOWN!!! \\ // \// \\ // \\ // \\ // \Find a garbage can and place the sheets in it. Now, using both your hands, slap yourself around the head while repeating: "I'm an idiot who wastes way too much time on this silly math stuff!!"