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Pastimes
Jokes and Humor Only
An SI Board Since July 2003
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Emcee:  Tomato Type:  Moderated
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3290A man has been admitted to hospital after pushing 6 plastic horses up his anus. Tomato11/22/2017
3289I told my friend that she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surpriTomato11/22/2017
3288What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weeTomato11/21/2017
3287Why are white people the scariest people in prison? Because you know they'Tomato31/21/2017
3286I was in a cab today and the cab driver said… "I love my job, I'm my Tomato11/20/2017
3285Where do poor meatballs live? In the spaghetto. What is the difference beTomato11/20/2017
3284Why aren't broken bones a problem in India? Everyone is already in a casteTomato11/20/2017
3283Why can't blondes finish software updates? Because they can never find the Tomato11/19/2017
3282My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "I'm Tomato11/19/2017
3281My new neighbor is fat, obnoxious, and loud. Now I know how Canada feels. WTomato21/18/2017
3280At least the USA is getting two colored presidents in a row. After all, orangeTomato21/18/2017
3279Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, hiTomato11/18/2017
3278Irony is... Getting pregnant on a pull-out couch. - My friend brought someTomato31/18/2017
3277A millionaire enters the town of Klon, Alaska. Upon arriving he notices a partTomato11/18/2017
3276Dog: "How come I've never seen cats making love in public?" Cat:Tomato21/18/2017
3275Why did the blonde's belly button hurt? Her boyfriend was blonde as well. Tomato11/17/2017
3274A professor told his class: "Fame will come to you only after you succeedTomato21/17/2017
3273Man : do you have the new book on small penises? Women : sorry, I don't thTomato31/17/2017
3272I nearly invested in this Egyptian tourism business, but realized it was justTomato11/16/2017
3271What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks DaTomato21/16/2017
3270Which blood type was created by mistake? Type O. Failure is not an option. Tomato11/15/2017
3269Adam and Eve were walking through the Garden of Eden. Eve asked, "Adam,Tomato11/15/2017
3268For some reason I'm only afraid of Middle Eastern spiders... My doctor says Tomato21/15/2017
3267I don't trust my shrink any more. First he tells me to speak freely, then heTomato51/14/2017
3266What's Tom Brady's favorite opera? Die Fledermaus!Tomato11/14/2017
3265I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. TTomato21/14/2017
3264An ancient Greek playwright walks into a tailor shop and approaches the counter Tomato21/14/2017
3263Looks like I cut off the start of the first joke of the last post. Here's tTomato41/13/2017
3262 She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. SheTomato21/13/2017
3261For some reason my dad thinks I'm a private investigator. He keeps calliTomato51/13/2017
3260A guy just assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy. - Did you Tomato21/13/2017
3259Got my kids Frozen yesterday... And the sperm bank paid me $50 for doing it. Tomato31/13/2017
3258I phoned the Paranoia Helpline, but I hung up after fifty-nine seconds. I'Tomato31/12/2017
3257According to a new study, the average cost of raising a child in America is now Tomato11/12/2017
3256I have been suffering from Priapism for the last 2 days. My wife is taking it pTomato11/12/2017
3255A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The gTomato21/12/2017
3254Something I have in common with Mariah Carey- I don't know the words to Tomato41/12/2017
3253I came up with a product that increases the size of your basement. I know it&#Tomato31/11/2017
3252When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighTomato11/10/2017
3251 I met this attractive older woman, around 50, at a bar one night. After a few dTomato11/10/2017
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