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How about these drug companies! You gotta love 'em. They pushed Nutra-Sweet through the FDA about as fast as if it were organic cornmeal. It's not a drug, it's a food additive! Sweet. Never mind that 50% of Nutra-sweet is L-Phenylalanine, and that ingestion of L-Phenylalanine causes a chemical imbalance in the brain. Did I mention that it also contains methyl alcohol, a deadly poison that when ingested converts to formaldehyde and formic acid, which poisons the thymus gland? Cool! I have an idea! Let's mix it with hydrogenated oil! Yeah, that's the ticket! Trans-fatty acids raise LDL cholesterol levels, (the bad cholesterol), while lowering the HDL levels, (the good cholesterol) in your body. This, of course, increases the risk of coronary heart disease, not to mention that it starves the body. People eat too much bad food and get chubby. That's good! The more they eat, the more food they buy! The more food they buy, the more Nutra-Sweet and hydrogenated oil they eat! Wait, there's more! Let's put some ads on television for Paxil. Paxil is a wonderful new drug! Here's the pitch: we invent a mental illness. We'll call it SAD, Social Anxiety Syndrome. You like it? Bitchin' acronym, eh? We tell everyone that mental illness is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. One of the "symptoms" of this "disease" is reluctance to appear in public. The ad on TV says "millions suffer". Make sure the ad says, "Ask your doctor about Paxil". Is this cool? I mean, is this a cool deal, or what? Dig it: everybody trusts doctors! Doctors know what is right! So they must know about mental illness, right? Doctors must know all about mental illness. They can prescribe psychotropic drugs, that's fine with everyone, because doctors know about these things! Everybody knows that! Doctors know that mental illness is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain! That makes sense, right? That's the disease, right? That's gotta be it! It's OK to appear in public and drive a car and go to work and all that while you are loaded on a psychotropic drug, because the doctor says you're sick and this is the medicine you need to fix that annoying chemical imbalance in your brain. No, no, don't worry about the side effects. We're working on a drug for those, stay calm. OK, let's make sure we have this straight: mental illnesses such as a reluctance to appear in public (millions suffer) are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. (Never mind what causes the chemical imbalance, science is baffled by that part. Don't even think about the fact that a chemical imbalance in the brain could be a symptom of something else. It's really a disease. Just skip that part about the cause of the chemical imbalance.) So, we get this new drug that we can take to alter our consciousness and make us less reluctant to appear in public. It fixes the chemical imbalance in the brain and we feel better. Still with me? So, what do we have now? You got it! We have an entire audience that is porking down tons of poisonous sweeteners that cause a chemical imbalance in the brain, along with trans-fatty acids that cause heart disease. They feel a bit funny. That's not because there is no such thing as beef without hormones and drugs in it or the other stuff they are eating, no, no, that's due to mental illness! And your doctor knows what causes mental illness...chemical imbalances in the brain! You need some psychotropic drugs before you step out of the front door, my friend! Now the consumers can drive cars, operate machines, and have children, and everything, and everyone buys more Nutra-Sweet and Paxil! It's not drugs! It's food additives and medicine! What we need is Pop-Tarts with the Ritalin already in them. We need Diet Pepsi with Paxil! You think cigarettes are bad? You're in Wonderland, my friend! Cigarettes are cotton candy compared to the stuff these drug companies have planned. I predict that within 24 months, you will not be able to find one single product in an average supermarket that does not contain either a chemical such as aspertame, hydrogenated oil, or both. There will be no such thing as "natural" in any ordinary supermarket in the United States of America. I predict that within 12 months of today's date, there will be an advertisement on television for an artificially sweetened psychotropic drug for children. I predict that if you have a child under 12 in a public school, within the next two years, you kid will tell you that the school counselor at school has suggested that your kid take a psychotropic drug so he or she can do better in school. Don't say I didn't warn you. | ||||||||||||
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