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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Goalie who wrote (10221)	6/9/1999 1:56:00 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

> Now, at long last some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging > gracefully. These are a bit more realistic... > > Bifocals Barbie > Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors > (half-frames too)! Neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha > Stewart Living. > > Hot Flash Barbie > Press Barbie's belly button and watch her face turn beet Red while tiny > drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With handheld fan and tiny > tissues. > > Facial Hair Barbie > As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! > Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. > > Flabby Arms Barbie > Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good > news on the tummy front, too: muu-muus with tummy support panels are > included! > > Bunion Barbie > Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll > on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and > plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. > > No More Wrinkles Barbie > Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin > Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting > cosmetics. > > Soccer Mom Barbie > All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts > off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken,Jr. With mini > van in robin's egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and > fruit punch. > > Mid-life Crisis Barbie > It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change and Alfredo (her personal > trainer) is just what the doctor ordered. They're hopping in her new red > Porsche Boxer and heading for the Napa Valley to open a > B&B. Comes with a real cassette of all time favorites like "Breaking Up Is > Hard to Do" and "Love Hurts." Bonus! Also includes a prescription for > Prozac. > > Divorced Barbie > Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat and with > the special California State Edition, she even gets Ken's kidneys and the > shirt off of his back. > > Single Mother Barbie > There's not much time for primping anymore! Ken's shacked up with the > Swedish au pair in the Dream House and Barbie's across town with Babs and > Ken, Jr., in a fourth-floor walkup. Barbie's selling > off her old gowns and accessories to raise rent money. Complete garage > sale kit included. > > Recovery Barbie > Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now > she does twelve steps instead of dance steps! Clean and sober, she's going > to meetings religiously. Comes with little copy of The Big > Book, a six-pack of Diet Coke, a pack of Virginia Slims and a "One Day At > A Time" bumper sticker for her rusted out, pink '77 Mustang II. > > Post Menopausal Barbie > Poor Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things > and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch > watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and > Kleenex. As a bonus this year, she comes with the book, "Getting In Touch > with Your Inner Self.