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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Neenny who wrote (10252)	6/13/1999 9:06:00 AM
From: SBerglowe	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. "Oh my god, I am sooo sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye >back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her house, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night.The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No, she replies.... Wait for it.... It's coming............. > > > > > > >The suspense is killing you ........ > > > > >"You just happened to catch my eye." > > > >

To: Neenny who wrote (10252)	6/15/1999 2:12:00 AM
From: Kid Rock	Read Replies (5) \| Respond to of 62549

I very much hate cats. I came up with these guidelines on the Feelings thread and they were not as well received as I expected. I think they are quite funny - stand up material if you will Guidelines for knowing when a man has gone too far into cyberland _______________________________________________ 1) You log on as a man and log off as a woman AND you are wearing lipstick. 2) You log on as a married man but refer to yourself as Gertrude the German born dominatrix(sp). 3) Before logging on you open a bottle of peanut oil and cover your office furniture with glad-wrap - except for the keyboard 4) You have had to replace more than 6 keyboards in a year 5) You have asked the question "how big are your tits?" more than 10 times in one evening. 6) You assure your wife that you are not having computer sex because your computer "doesn't have the right port" 7) You shave your knuckles. 8) You have bianca's smut shack as your home page 9) You've seen a pictures with donkeys, parakeets, and fishing poles, that you could never describe in public. 10) You have decided that your children - in no circumstances - will have an AOL account or the ability to surf the web unattended.