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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Kid Rock who wrote (10267)	6/15/1999 7:57:00 AM
From: Wooly	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

TIme to turn off the PC, Tom. Don't quit your day job! :>]

To: Kid Rock who wrote (10267)	6/15/1999 9:13:00 AM
From: MrsNose	Respond to of 62549

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered, "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I like it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the 'Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."

To: Kid Rock who wrote (10267)	6/15/1999 11:18:00 AM
From: Sarkie	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Your joke may have been funny, but I would not think of reading past your ridiculous opening remark. I very much hate cats

To: Kid Rock who wrote (10267)	6/15/1999 5:12:00 PM
From: Kenneth V. McNutt	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest she has a terrible secret. The priest assures her secret has the sanctity of the confessional. She says," Father, I never wear panties under my habit." The priest chuckles then say "That's not serious, sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."

To: Kid Rock who wrote (10267)	6/22/1999 1:55:00 AM
From: Neenny	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The Top Ten Ways You Know You've Joined the Wrong Church 10. The church bus has gun racks. 9. The church staff consists of pastor, associate pastor and sociopastor. 8. It uses the Dr. Suess version of the Bible. 7. There is an ATM machine in the lobby. 6. The choir wears leather and metal robes. 5. Worship services are BYOS (bring your own snakes). 4. There's no cover charge, but communion is a two drink minimum. 3. The pastor regularly attends meetings in Las Vegas and atlantic City. 2. The ushers ask, "Smoking or Nonsmoking?" And the #1 way to tell you've joined the wrong church is: 1. The women's quartet are all married to the pastor.