Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vision21 who wrote (1194)	7/14/1999 10:31:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

3 surgeons talk about what kind of people they like to do surgery on. The first guy says i like to do surgery on engineers...they understand if you have extra parts. The second guy says he like to cut up stupid people... they don't notice if you lose anything important. The third guy says the best people to do surgery on are lawyers...they're spineless, gutless and brainless so you CAN'T lose anything!!!!!!

To: Vision21 who wrote (1194)	7/14/1999 10:37:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

For the deep thinkers!!!! Why do you call it a rush hour when nothing moves? What do they call chinese food in China? How come when people say they'll kick your butt, they kick everything but your butt? Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?

To: Vision21 who wrote (1194)	7/14/1999 10:47:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

The king of a jungle tribe lived in an enormous grass hut. He was very proud of his collection of thrones and he was constantly ordering his subjects to build him newer and bigger ones. His collection grew and grew and he was starting to run out of room for all the thrones, so he ordered his architects to construct a second story on his already huge hut. He made sure that each new throne was bigger and contained more jewels than the previous throne and he became greedier and greedier. He started stowing the thrones on the second floor, and actually began piling them up on top of each other. One day there was only room for ONE more throne, and against the architect's pleading not to do it, he had the last throne stowed in the last space available. The weight of the final throne was too much for a hut made of grass and the second story, filled with thrones, came crashing down, squashing the king and killing him instantly. The moral of the story is----------PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T STOW THRONES!

To: Vision21 who wrote (1194)	7/14/1999 10:55:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

More Deep Thoughts: A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me...they were cramming for their finals. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they are out walking around delivering the mail? VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for? STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Clones are people two. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

To: Vision21 who wrote (1194)	7/14/1999 11:08:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. OK, so what's the speed of dark? How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Change is inevitable... except from vending machines