Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karin who wrote (2316)	7/22/1999 11:09:00 AM
From: Susan G	Respond to of 2733

The following is a blonde secretary's interoffice memo to her boss. To: My Boss Fr: Blondie Subject: Changing Calendars From Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y2K problem makes much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for the next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months: Januark Februrk Mak Julk I also changed all the days of the week to: Sundak Mondak Tuesdak Wednesdak Thursdak Fridak Saturdak We are now Y to K compliant.

To: Karin who wrote (2316)	7/22/1999 5:23:00 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.

To: Karin who wrote (2316)	7/23/1999 1:12:00 AM
From: Karin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, " Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms." "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them." she replied. The third nun said, "Oh shit."

To: Karin who wrote (2316)	8/2/1999 12:34:00 AM
From: Karin	Respond to of 2733

To: All employees From: Management Re: Rest room In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest room under informal guidelines. Effective this date, a "Rest room Trip Policy" (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's rest room time. Under this policy, a "Rest room Trip Bank" (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a "Rest room Trip Credit" (RTC) of 20. RTCs can be accumulated from month to month. Within two weeks, the entrance to all rest rooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer linked voice recognition devices. Before the end of March, each employee must provide the Personnel Dept. with two copies of voice prints, one normal and one under stress. The voice print recognition will be in operation, but not restrictive, for the rest of the month. Employees should acquaint themselves with these stations during this period. If an employee's RTB balance reaches zero, the doors to the rest rooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all rest room stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper in the stall will retract, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall seat remains occupied, your picture will be taken. The picture will then be posted in the hallways. This is being done to eliminate dilly-dalling in the rest rooms. Anyone's picture showing up three times will be immediately terminated. If there are any questions regarding the above policy, don't hesitate to speak with your supervisor or the Personnel Dept. Thank You - Management