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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: arno who wrote (10864)	7/30/1999 1:33:00 PM
From: arno	Respond to of 62550

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" And they all sat. After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot-dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The assistant replied, "Well... everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!'"

To: arno who wrote (10864)	7/30/1999 1:43:00 PM
From: arno	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62550

Subject: Moral of the Story There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up against the wall. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off, thinking that once he got airborne, he, would be able to take flight. Unfortunately he was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting when he hit the floor. Dead. The moral to the story is: Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit