Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (10921)	8/4/1999 11:49:00 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62549

'Twas the Race for the Senate ‘Twas the Race for the Senate and Hillary, chipper, Told Tina that Bill was abused as a nipper, His sin was a weakness he couldn't control, Like Viagra commercials when offered to Dole, Seems his mom and his gram would put Bill in the middle, Which produced in the lad a compulsion to diddle, Over his sex life Bill had no controls, Or at least such a theory helps Hil in the polls But Rudy won't sit on the sidelines and shake, Or let some folks proclaim his political wake, He's got tricks of his own that he might try to use, Like an offer that Hillary just can't refuse, Or perhaps Rudy's people have found that Vince Foster, Contracted from Hillary herpes (not zoster), Plus the reason she said she's a fan of the Yanks, Was to hide an affair with the Cub's Ernie Banks When Rudy gets tough guess he'll thread in some sutures, ‘Bout Hillary's making a killing in futures, And her Whitewater dealings - I'm sure he'll remind, That the lovely First Lady deserved to be fined But when things are all over and votes are all counted, Our Rudy will find his travail he's surmounted, He'll beat his opponent, yes Rudy will shag her, New Yorkers say “No!” to that old carpetbagger copyright 1999 Wayne Aaronson

To: John Messbauer who wrote (10921)	8/5/1999 4:09:00 AM
From: Mad_Mouse	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Speaking of Pygmies, it reminded me of something the owner of Samuel Adams Brewery said in response to a compliment given to him by the DJ of a radio station. DJ: Congratulations on being the #4 brewery in the country based on volume. Owner: That's like congratulating me for being the tallest Pygmie. LOL. He went on to say that the top breweries spill more beer each year than what he produced. It was a very funny interview, but that's the only thing I remember from it. :)

To: John Messbauer who wrote (10921)	8/5/1999 7:48:00 PM
From: Mr Bond	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Hey John, keep it up. Your jokes are the best on SI. Don't worry about offending the Politically Correct. A while back, some guy called Junior Balloon posted a great response to criticism of his jokes: "If I find out where you live, I'm going to come round and take a dump on your lawn" Bond

To: John Messbauer who wrote (10921)	8/5/1999 8:05:00 PM
From: Mr Bond	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

A guy goes to see his Doctor. The Doctor tells him to sit down and says "Do you want the bad news first, or the good news?" The guy says "Doc, tell me the bad news" The Doctor says "Well, you've got terminal cancer and you're going to die in six months" The guy breaks down in tears and collapses. A few minutes later, he gets up, his eyes widen, and he asks "Doc, tell me the good news!" The Doc says "Well, do you see that nurse over there?" The guy goes "Yes!" The Doc replies "Well I f**ked her last night"