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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (10974)	8/9/1999 2:09:00 AM
From: ToolManInc	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: "I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, Jerk. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person ... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the name of humour. Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blond pipes up, "You stay out of this. Mister, I'm talking to that little creep on your knee!"

To: John Messbauer who wrote (10974)	8/9/1999 1:41:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Growing, Growing Gone? Monday August 9 12:18 PM ET dailynews.yahoo.com NEW YORK, Aug 09 (Reuters Health) -- Accidental contact with a muscle-building cream caused one 2-year-old to enter puberty about 10 years early, according to a report published in the August issue of the journal Pediatrics. ''Testing showed that the child had about twice as much testosterone in his bloodstream as the maximum level considered normal for his age,'' said study lead author Dr. A. Joseph D'Ercole of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. D'Ercole and colleagues report the case of a 2-year-old North Carolina boy who developed penis enlargement (to about 3.6 inches), pubic hair and acne over a 4 to 5 month period. After ruling out other causes, the researchers determined that the child was experiencing an early puberty caused by repeated contact with his father's testosterone muscle-building skin cream. They explain that ''although the cream was not applied directly to the boy, he had close contact with his father, as well as with his father's body building equipment and mats, which were smeared with the testosterone cream.'' The boy's parents were advised to prevent his contact with the substance. The investigators report that 4 months after cessation of exposure to the cream, the boy's penis remained the same size, but ''his facial acne and pubic hair were diminished dramatically.'' In a University statement, D'Ercole warned that ''testosterone and other anabolic steroids -- male androgenic steroids -- are out in the community now, and people are using them to build their muscles and strength. If children get hold of them, they could face some significant problems.'' Apart from the complications of premature puberty, the most serious of these problems could be growth abnormalities. According to the researchers, childhood exposure to steroids could trigger rapid bone growth in the short term, but end in shorter adult height. ''If these substances are left lying around where kids might think they are candy or something else harmless, they could do permanent damage,'' D'Ercole warned. The researchers note that topical use of testosterone cream does not increase adult penile size. In fact, testosterone supplementation usually signals the body to produce less of the hormone -- resulting in smaller, not larger sexual organs. SOURCE: Pediatrics 1999;104.