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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (10980)	8/10/1999 8:52:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Eclipse Not End Of The World? Tuesday August 10 8:35 AM ET dailynews.yahoo.com MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - It's only an eclipse of the sun, not the end of the world, Mexico has warned its people. As Wednesday's solar eclipse nears, some Mexicans have taken it to mean the end is nigh, handing out leaflets warning fellow citizens to prepare for catastrophe. Similar predictions of doom have come from other corners of the world. ''There is absolutely no scientific evidence that eclipses are related to, or associated with, disasters or catastrophes,'' the Interior Ministry, responsible for internal security, said in a press release issued late Sunday. Besides, the ministry reasoned, the eclipse won't even be visible in Mexico. Instead the moon will block out the sun over swathes of the North Atlantic, Middle East and the Indian subcontinent. The government warning came on top of similar appeals for calm from the local Roman Catholic Church, which has told Mexican Catholics there is no need for priests to bless candles and matches, as some people have sought. In his Sunday homily, Mexican Cardinal Norberto Rivera told the faithful that ''an eclipse is very different from the end of the world.'' Still, the government denial might be taken as a signal that trouble really is brewing, the daily newspaper Reforma said in an editorial Monday. ''Government bulletins rarely are in touch with reality, so if we're not careful the world just might come to an end,'' Reforma said.

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (10980)	8/10/1999 10:55:00 AM
From: MrsNose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

WHY GIRLS RULE! Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess I have two mounds upon my bodice I shave my legs, I sit down to pee I can justify any shopping spree Not to a barber, but a beauty salon Can get a massage without a hard on Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass I always save money by using coupons Can admit to others when I am wrong Don't drive in circles at any cost So I don't have to admit when I am lost Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon Every time I go to the john Let me tell you men Listen to me boys Those things in your pants That you treat as toys You love them more then we ever will We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill I spend two hours preparing for a date Only to find you're two hours late I don't watch movies with lots of gore Don't need instant replay to remember the score I won't lose my hair I don't get jock itch And just cause I'm assertive Don't call me a bitch I don't wear the same underwear everyday The food in my fridge has no sign of decay I don't go to Sears To look at the tools I don't cheat at poker I follow the rules I don't read magazines about cars Don't pay for drinks at bars I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi" And it's o.k. for me to cry I know all you men Think that you're "IT" But compared to a woman You just ain't SH*T! Now, you must forward this to 5 FEMALES and give them a laugh for the day.