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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mark Peterson CPA who wrote (11043)	8/12/1999 12:37:00 PM
From: WayHaw	Respond to of 62549

A police officer (who shall remain nameless) pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please?" "What's the problem, officer?" "Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection." "Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me". "Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution." "you gotta be kidding me!" "It's no joke, sir". "Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution." "That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and. . ." "You've got a lot of time on your hands, PAL! What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?" "Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately!" "I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop." The police officer had enough. "Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick. "Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"

To: Mark Peterson CPA who wrote (11043)	8/12/1999 8:16:00 PM
From: John Madarasz	Respond to of 62549

Sorry Mark...Just have to do it.... > A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to > the > side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer > approaches the car. The man says, "What's the problem officer?" > > Officer: "You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm > afraid I'm going to have to ticket you. > > Man: "No sir, I was going a little over 60." > > Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80." [The man gives wife a > dirty > look.] > > Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail > light." > > Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!" > > Wife: "Oh, Harry. You've known about that tail light for weeks." [The > man > gives his wife a dirty look.] > > Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat > belt." > > Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." > > Wife: "Oh, Harry. You never wear your seat belt!" > > Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't you just shut > your friggin' trap!" > > The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to > you > this way all the time?" > > Wife says, "No, only when he's drunk." > > > ~ Hope all is well, Let's get together soon. Very Best Wishes, John