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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: c.horn who wrote (11085)	8/18/1999 7:59:00 AM
From: scrooge	Respond to of 62576

LONG STORY SHORT: Girl and boy are having a relationship of about four months now. One Friday night they meet at a bar after work. They stay for a few, then went to get some food at a local restaurant. They eat, then go back to his house and she stays over. HER STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to this restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something else. I ask him, and he says no. But you know I'm not really sure. So anyway, in the cab back to his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me. I don't know what the hell this means because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally get back to his place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me! So I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly, I say I'm going to go to sleep. Then, after about 10 minutes, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave. I dunno, I just don't know, what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else ??? HIS STORY: Shitty day at work, low on funds, and tired. Got laid though.

To: c.horn who wrote (11085)	8/18/1999 10:08:00 AM
From: Mike 2.0	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62576

Another Jesus & Moses golf joke: Jesus and Moses are at a par 3 and Moses insists on using a 6 iron. "Don't use a 6 iron Moses," says Jesus, "the ball won't go far enough. It will land in the pond right in front of the green!" "Don't worry," says Moses. "Arnold Palmer uses a 6 iron every time he plays this hole!" And so, he swings, the ball flies off the tee, and plops into the pond. "Now try a different club," says Jesus. "NO," said Moses, "Arnold Palmer always uses a 6 iron on this hole!" So he tries again and again lands in the pond. Stubbornly, Moses insists on trying again and again, insisting over and over that Arnold Palmer always nails this very same hole with a 6 iron. Moses ends up shooting all his golf balls into the pond. Embarrassed and angry, he walkes from the tee to the pond and causes the pond waters to part, so he can retrieve his golf balls. Another group of golfers arrive at the tee and see this amazing display. "WOW!" gasps one golfer. "Who does that guy think he is...Moses?" "Nope," says Jesus. "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."