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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bucko who wrote (11238)	8/26/1999 1:25:00 PM
From: Nite-Man	Respond to of 62558

Jedi Mind Trick > >> This little Jedi Mind Trick is kind of freaky, till you think about it a little while. Then it's even weirder. > >> Just follow the instructions below: > >> DON'T scroll down too fast-do it slowly and follow the instructions below exactly, do the math in your head as fast as you can. It may help to say the answers aloud quietly. > >> FOLLOW these instructions one at a time and as QUICKLY as you can! > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> What is: > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 2+2? > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 4+4? > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 8+8? > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 16+16? > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Quick! Pick a number between 12 and 5. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Got it? > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Now scroll down... > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> The number you picked was 7, right? Free will or synaptic wiring? You be the judge. > >> Check out the following exercise, guaranteed to freak you out. There's no trick or surprise. Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can! > >> Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them...really. > >> Now, ARROW down (but not too fast, you might miss something)... > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> What is: > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 1+5 > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 2+4 > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 3+3 > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 4+2 > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 5+1 > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Now repeat saying the number 6 to yourself as fast as you can for 15 seconds. Then scroll down. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> QUICK!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE! Then arrow down. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> Keep going. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> You're thinking of a carrot right? If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are warped enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with carrot when given this exercise. Freaky, huh? > > Here is another one DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It only takes 30 seconds. Work this out as you read. Don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! > >> > >> 1. First of all, pick the number of days a week that you would like to eat out. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 2. Multiply this number by 2. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 3. Add 5. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 4. Multiply it by 50. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1749. If you haven't, add 1748. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> 6. Last step: Subtract the four digit year that you were born. > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> SEE BELOW > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> You should now have a three digit number: The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to go out each week). > >> > >> The second two digits are your age!!! > >> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > >> > >> This is the only year (1999) it will ever work, so spread the fun around while it lasts...

To: bucko who wrote (11238)	8/26/1999 1:26:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

If you are planning to move to Texas, read this first...... May 30th Just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here. June 14th Really heating up. Got to 100° today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper. June 30th Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. July 10th The temperature hasn't been below 100° all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected. July 15th Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. July 20th I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. No more pets in this heat! July 25th Dry #@&$!% heat?! Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. July 30th Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here? Aug 4th 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90°. Stupid repairman. I hate this #@&$!% state. Aug 8th If another wise guy cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to tear his #@&$!% throat out. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like Roasted #@&$!% Garfield!! Aug 10th The weather report might as well be a recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to #@&$!% for two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the #@&$!% pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat. Aug 14th Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123° today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the #@&$!% windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My husband had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Aug 30th Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The #@&$!% monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving to Illinois for some peace and quiet.