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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (11715)	9/28/1999 10:51:00 AM
From: Len	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62578

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde in great detail. The robbery begins. The first blonde drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other blonde, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?" "Perfectly," she said. She goes in the bank while the other waits in the getaway car. One minute passes, two minutes pass...seven minutes pass -and the first blonde is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open and out she comes. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, the first blonde says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!" The second blonde said, "I did! I did exactly what you said!" "No, you idiot," she replied. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!" Len

To: John Carragher who wrote (11715)	9/29/1999 2:11:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62578

John, do you have any more Martha Stewart tips. Those were hysterical. OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing anyone who opposed them. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. We put the "K" in KWALITY! Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. Plagiarism saves time. If at first you don't succeed, try management. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. TEAMWORK ... means never having to take all the blame yourself. The beatings will continue until morale improves. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. We waste time, so you don't have to. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. INDECISION ... it's the key to FLEXIBILITY.