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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (11842)	10/4/1999 6:37:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Respond to of 62572

excerpts from children's bible essays In the first book of the Bible, Guinness's, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone." The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (11842)	10/4/1999 7:43:00 PM
From: Neenny	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62572

There was this couple that was married for 20 years, and every time > they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. > Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would > break him out of the crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the > middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. > > She looked down and saw her husband was holding a dildo. > She gets completely upset. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at > him,"how could you be lying to me all of these years. You better explain > yourself!" > > The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says, calmly, > "I'll explain the dildo if you can explain our three kids." >