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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (11922)	10/11/1999 1:14:00 PM
From: can	Respond to of 62550

Thanks for a good laugh. You've had a string of very very funny jokes lately. Keep up the good work!

To: John Carragher who wrote (11922)	10/11/1999 1:23:00 PM
From: Sly_	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62550

Q. What do you call one blond whispering into another blonds ear? A. Data transfer!

To: John Carragher who wrote (11922)	10/11/1999 8:25:00 PM
From: Elmer Flugum	Read Replies (6) \| Respond to of 62550

Four married guys go golfing. During the fourth hole the following conversation took place: First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Third guy: "Man you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play when they realize that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him how he was able to come golfing this weekend? What's the deal? Fourth guy: "I have a way to deal with it. You guys are doing it all wrong." "Oh, really?" "Really! I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. When it goes off, I shut off the alarm, give my wife a nudge and say, "Golfcourse or Intercourse?" She says, "Wear your sweater."

To: John Carragher who wrote (11922)	10/11/1999 10:23:00 PM
From: Mephisto	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO NEW YORK ONE DAY IMA GO TO NEW YORK TO A BIGGA HOTEL. I GO DOWN TO EAT SOMA BREAKFAST. I TELLA THE WAITRESS I WANNA TWO PISS TOAST. SHE BRANGA ME ONLY ONE A PISS. I TELLA HER I WANNA TWO PISS. SHE SAY GO TO THE TOLIET. I SAY YOU NO UNDERSTAND. I WANNA TWO PISS ON MY PLATE. SHE SAY YOU BETTER NO PISS ON THE PLATE YOU SONNA MA BITCH. I DON'TA EVEN KNOW THE LADY AND SHE CALL ME A SONNA MA BITCH. LATER, I GO TO EAT SOMA LUNCH AT DRAKE RESTAURANT. THE WAITRESS BRANGA ME A SPOON ANA KNIFE, BUT NO FOCK. I TELLA HER I WANNA FOCK. SHE TELLSA ME EVERBODY WANNA FOCK. I TELLA HER, YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA FOCK ON THE TABLE. SHE SAY YOU BETTER NOT FOCK ON THE TABLE, YOU SONNA MA BITCH. I DON'TA EVEN KNOW THE LADY AND SHE CALLA ME A SONNA MA BITCH. SO I GO BACK TO MY ROOM INNA HOTEL, AN THERE'S NO SHEET ON MY BED. I CALLA THE MANAGER ANA TELL HIM I WANNA SHEET. HE TELLA ME TO GO TO THE TOLIET. SO I SAY YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA SHEET ON THE BED. HE SAY YOU BETTER NOT SHEET ON THE BED YOU SONNA MA BITCH. I DON'TA EVEN KNOW THE MAN AND HE CALLA ME A SONNA MA BITCH. I GO TO CHECKA OUT AND THE MAN AT THE DESKA HE SAY PEACE TO YOU, I SAY PISS ONNA YOU TOO, YOU SONNA MA BITCH. I GO BACK TO ITALY.