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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Wooly who wrote (11957)	10/13/1999 1:49:00 AM
From: Arctic Trader	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Plan to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I be acquitted?"

To: Wooly who wrote (11957)	10/13/1999 8:29:00 PM
From: Mephisto	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

A foursome was on the last hole. The last golfer drove off the tee, and he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through, and he would meet them at the club house. They followed the plan, and waited for their friend. After a considerable time he appeared, disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened. He explained that he went over to the cow pasture, but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail. He saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball, so he knew it was not his. A woman comes out from the bushes, apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow's tail, and asked, "Does this look like yours?" That was the last thing he could remember.