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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11973)10/14/1999 9:24:00 AM
From: MrsNose  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY:

I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pickup...it's not safe.
Professional wrasslin's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.
I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR.
Give me the small bag of porkrinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
I've got it all on floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
My fiancee is registered at Tiffany.
She's too old to be wearing that bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey here's an episode of Hee Haw we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college football team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Elvis who?
Checkmate



To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11973)10/14/1999 1:20:00 PM
From: Berry Picker  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
Thanx.... Music calms even the savage beast :-}