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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (12058)	10/18/1999 8:43:00 AM
From: Tmoore	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62552

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch very late on Friday night. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County Courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing the pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County jail. Davidson went on to state that picked out a pumpkin that he thought was appropriate for his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wilmington police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to [Davidson] and he's . . . just working away at this pumpkin." "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're doing it with a pumpkin? He got real surprised as you would expect and then looked me straight in the face and said.... "A pumpkin? Damn....is it midnight already?"

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (12058)	10/18/1999 2:47:00 PM
From: Carole Olkowski	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62552

>A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Bacon and eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe a nice sectioned grapefruit with a cherry on top, and a cup of fresh hot coffee?" He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Or how about a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?" Again he declines. "No, thanks. It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite." At dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat, offering to go to the cafe & buy him a burger supper. "Or would you rather I make you a pizza from scratch? Or, how about a tasty stir fry? That will only take a couple of minutes...?" Once more, he declines. "Again, thanks, but it's this Viagra. It's really taken the edge off my appetite." "Well then, OK" she says, "would you mind getting off of me? I'm really STARVING!"<<<