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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PMS Witch who wrote (12273)	11/1/1999 11:01:00 AM
From: emidio	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

>__________________________________ >20 SAYINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE ON THOSE OFFICE INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS >1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it >by killing all those who opposed them. >2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you >probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. >3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job >WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. >4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. >5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. >6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a >scapegoat. >7. Plagiarism saves time. >8. If at first you don't succeed, try management. >9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. >10. TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself. >11. The beatings will continue until morale improves. >12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. > >13. We waste time, so you don't have to. >14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! >15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent >slacker. >16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. >17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. >18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. >19. Succeed in spite of management. >20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

To: PMS Witch who wrote (12273)	11/1/1999 7:23:00 PM
From: Phil(bullrider)	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

PMS W, Loved your post. Reminds me of my squirrel problem. I could probably feed all of the hungry children in the county for at least a week if I went to work on them with a .22.(The squirrels, that is) Seriously, they have chewed holes in my garage and storage shed (where they attempted to nest), chewed the insulation off of electric wires, etc., etc. I built a big cage for them (cost me about a hundred dollars just for materials), bought a couple of Hav-A-Hart live traps (another $75 or so) and one morning started baiting the traps with black oil sunflower seeds. A squirrel will kill for black oil sunflower seeds. By early afternoon I had about 20 in the cage. (I was transferring them from the traps to the cage). I transported them to a friends farm in the country and turned them loose so we could hunt them in the fall/winter. I transported them in the cage on a utility trailer. You should have seen the expressions on the people that passed me. The next day, I did the same thing. I grew tired of trapping and messing with them. I don't know how many days I could have kept it up, but fortunately I had to return to work. I still do it at least one day a year to attempt to keep them in check, but I never get around to hunting them. I have a friend that simply shoots them with a low powered .22 load and disposes of them because they are so much of a problem to him. In my state, you can legally hunt them year round on your own property. My problem is, I cannot legally discharge a gun because I am too close to my neighbors. Again, thanks for your post. Have fun, Phil