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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (12295)	11/2/1999 11:07:00 AM
From: larscot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

Subject: Advice from men to women * Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.' * If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it. * Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one. * Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials. * Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment. * Please don't drive when you're not driving. * Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline. * The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference! * When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine. * What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view. * When I ask, 'How many guys have you slept with?' It would be much appreciated if you did not answer honestly. * When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary. * When you're not around, I belch or fart so loudly that I even appall myself. * The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it. * SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister. * Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear? * If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work? * You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.