Subject: The smartest people in the world and their thoughts...
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "We would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we
were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever."-Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but
cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and
stuff."--Mariah Carey
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."--David
Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."--Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."-Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."--Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the
Dallas Mavericks.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president."--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."--Former French President Charles De
Gaulle
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one
to do it."--A congressional candidate in Texas.
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great
numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it
for themselves."--John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."--Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it." -- Former U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle
(Right on, Danny!!!)
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."--General
William Westmoreland
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under
your feet."--Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than
others."--Gerry Brown
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."--George
Bush, US President
"I have opinions of my own -strong opinions- but I don't always agree with them."
--George Bush, US President
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."--Dan Quayle
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Dan Quayle
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study
my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." --Dan Quayle
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How
true that is."--Dan Quayle
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."-Dan Quayle
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."--Dan Quayle
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."-Dan Quayle
"Potatoe" --Dan Quayle
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is different from
the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique
situation."-Dan Quayle, US VP (you are my idol, Danny!)
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."--Former U.S. Vice-president Dan
Quayle (You da man, Danny!)
"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand."-Duffy Daugherty,
football coach and sports analys
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
"Please provide the date of your death."--from an IRS letter
"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."--Richard Nixon, US
President
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted
in furthering that version."--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony
"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his
recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."--Parish Magazine
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only:
Super Bowl." --Bill Peterson, football coach
"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."--Mike Smith, baseball pitcher, ordering a
salad at a restaurant
"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
--Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst
"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."-Ivana Trump, upon finishing
her first novel
"I've read about foreign policy and studied-I know the number of continents." --George
Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."-Colonel
Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor
"The road of good intentions is paved with Hell."--Spencer Ante
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."-Keppel Enderbery
"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a
woman." --Rear Admiral James R. Hogg
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold
Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a
detective in the police farce."-Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it
will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up
dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly." --Batman Costume warning label |
