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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (66871)	12/16/1999 3:11:00 PM
From: Neocon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

The St. John's campus in Santa Fe has a concrete pond on its quad, donated by Greer Garson. Once, when we out for some summer alumni programs, I was walking with my son (he was 2) in a lobby on the edge of the quad. Someone stopped me to talk. I turned away from him for a few seconds. Suddenly, he ran out of the swinging glass doors. Of course, as soon as I caught this out of the corner of my eye, I chased him. By the time I got outside, he had fallen in the pond, and was so shocked that instead of standing up (it was shallow), he was floating face down in it. I plucked him out of the pond, utterly shaken, and took him back to the condo for a warm bath and change. He was fine, it had happened quickly, but oddly, no one in the vicinity reacted, either to stop him or to get him out: they were a few students doing stuff over the summer, and it was too unexpected for them to register quickly. Had I been called away, and he had made this unexpected dash, he might have been more seriously hurt. Toddlers are not totally predictable, and one cannot watch them every second.......

To: Ish who wrote (66871)	12/16/1999 3:31:00 PM
From: Neocon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

I have a brother with cerebral palsy, had it since infancy. He is almost 40, and he is of normal intelligence. He has been confined to a wheelchair his entire life, and has limited use of his hands. He gets around Washington in a heavy duty electric wheelchair, and has friends all over the city. Recently, he was given an award by the mayor for his work on disabled issues over the years. He cannot even use the bathroom without aid, and sometimes needs help feeding himself, like getting his meat cut. For years, when I was a kid, I had primary responsibility for lifting him, pushing his wheelchair, taking him on and off the toilet, and so on. He still lives with our mother, and now has an array of gizmos to help with some of the things I used to do when he was not a grown man yet. When my mother had a stroke a couple of years ago, I spent a month in their apartment taking care of him, this time with the help of the gizmos. Occasionally, another brother would come over so I had a break and could go home for an evening, and he did not require constant attention, so I could run errands or sometimes go out to eat with my wife, especially if he decided to go out, but I had to get him up and put him down, minimum. Fortunately, my mother's stroke was not too severe, and they began to plan a little more for the future after she got out. Anyway, my brother is mostly cheerful, and likes his life, and is happy to be alive, and does productive things. Terrible things happen to people, and they get on with their lives. People are pretty resilient, generally........

To: Ish who wrote (66871)	12/16/1999 4:09:00 PM
From: Neocon	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

By the way, discipline, in whatever form, should not just be about behavioral modification, but about accountability and justice. Of course, one takes into account age and circumstance, but there is a point where discipline is supposed to be punishment, if we are to teach children that it matters to us what they do, and they will not just be let off the hook. Funnily enough, I usually give my son the option of saying he is sorry or accepting punishment, and often he would rather be punished than have to say he is sorry. Reminds me of the thread.......