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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (12977)	1/10/2000 7:08:00 AM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Another Little Old Lady Joke ---------------------------- A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "D-d-do y-you h-h-have d-d-dildos?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many models." The old woman then asks: D-d-do y-y-you h-h-have a-a-a p-p-pink one, t-t-ten inches-s-s l-l-long a-a-and a-b-bout t-t-two inches-s-s th-th-thick-k-k?" The clerk responds, "Yes we do." "C-c-can y-y-you t-t-tell m-m-me how-w-w t-t-to t-t-turn t-t-the f-f-fuckin' th-th-thing-g off-f-f?"

To: Edwarda who wrote (12977)	1/15/2000 11:24:00 PM
From: Pami	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Hi, Edwarda! Loved the doggy post...thanks! EXERCISE My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. -pam