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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (13092)	1/19/2000 10:07:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tatoos all over his arms answers the door. She proclaims "I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?" The little old lady says "Yea, thats my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asks her "Do you smoke?" The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke.. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool." The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?" The little old lady says "No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."

To: E who wrote (13092)	1/20/2000 8:08:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62549

Grandpa and Grandma were living with their son and daughter-in-law. Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one. His son said, "Dad, I don't think you should take one - they're very strong and expensive." Grandpa said, "I know, but I want to try one. How much are they?" His son replied, "$10 each." Grandpa only had a $50 bill but was going to the bank. He told his son that he would leave $10 under his pillow that night. The next morning his son found $110 under his pillow and said, "Dad, I told you it was only $10. There's $110 under my pillow!" Grandpa said, "That's ok, the other $100 is from Grandma!"

To: E who wrote (13092)	1/20/2000 10:04:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

> Supposedly from a local Queensland, Australia community paper. > > > Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood > tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar > so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the > car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. > > After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the > man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few > minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally > he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry > night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then > switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, > reversed a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as > some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the carpark and > started to drive slowly down the road. > > The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started > up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man > over and carried out a breathalyser test. To his amazement the > breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at > all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me > to the police station this breathalyser equipment must be broken." > "I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."