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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/24/2000 11:44:00 PM
From: Wooly	Respond to of 62561

Tell him you've got a good knock-knock joke, but HE has to start it!

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/25/2000 4:31:00 AM
From: Graham C.	Respond to of 62561

Knock, knock. ( Who's there ? ) Banana. ( Banana who ? ) Knock, knock. ( Who's there ? ) Banana. ( Banana who ? ) Knock, knock. ( Who's there ? ) Banana. ( Banana who ? ) Knock, knock. ( Who's there ? ) Banana. ( Banana who ? ) Knock, knock. ( Who's there ? ) Orange. ( Orange who ? ) Orange ya glad I didn't say "Banana" ?

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/25/2000 6:15:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62561

GEORGE CARLINISMS > > > > How come wrong numbers are never busy? > > > > Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? > > > > Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip? > > > > Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? > > > > Does killing time damage eternity? > > > > Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? > > > > Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? > > > > Why is it that night falls but day breaks? > > > > Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? > > > > Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn > > down > > the volume on the radio? > > > > Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid > > made > > with real lemons? > > > > Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? > > > > Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop? > > > > Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep > > it? > > > > Did Noah keep his bees in archives? > > > > Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? > > > > Do pilots take crash-courses? > > > > Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? > > > > Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? > > > > Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just > > whipped out a quarter? > > > > Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? > > > > Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? > > > > How can there be self-help "groups"? > > > > How do you get off a non-stop flight? > > > > How do you write zero in Roman numerals? > > > > How many weeks are there in a light year? > > > > If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing > > > > "Happy Birthday?" > > > > If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman? > > > > If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? > > > > If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? > > > > If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? > > > > If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them? > > > > If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl > > > > Scout cookies made out of? > > > > If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? > > > > If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way > > they > > do? > > > > If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? > > > > If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? > > > > If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? > > > > If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? > > > > If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does > > he > > become disoriented? > > > > Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running > > child? > > > > Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot? > > > > Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already > > there? > > > > Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? > > > > Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps" > > > >

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/25/2000 11:15:00 AM
From: The Philosopher	Respond to of 62561

Here's an oldie I recall from when i was about your son's age. Let's not talk about how long ago that was! KK WT Isabelle. Isabelle W? Is a bell necessary on a bicycle? Yuk yuk!

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/25/2000 1:24:00 PM
From: Lynn Peters	Respond to of 62561

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Sally Mander

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/25/2000 3:45:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62561

Hundreds of them: scatty.com

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/25/2000 8:18:00 PM
From: PMS Witch	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62561

Knock knock Who's there Eileen Eileen who? Eileen over, you kiss my arse.

To: Chris Stovin who wrote (13181)	1/26/2000 12:39:00 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62561

Sorry, couldn't find the full K-K joke book. But these are from the K-K sections from other joke books. They were one to a page, making faxing unreasonable, so I decided to just give you the punch lines; you can fill in the rest. For example, expand Hairy up and finish these ridiculous jokes. to Knock knock Who's there? Hairy Hairy who? Hairy up and finish these ridiculous jokes. So here is a bunch of monster and ghost KK punchlines. Obviously, you can modify them any way you want to once you have the ideas. Monster KK Jokes: Phil my face -- is it getting furry? Bloody, can you spare a dime? Howl we know you're not a werewolf? Juan more monster knock knock joke, please. Hank you for your contribution to Dracula's blood bank! Bat you can't wait to read more of these jokes! Ivan awful headache ever since Godzilla stepped on me! Ghost KK Jokes: Ken I hide in the closet with you? Radio not, here I come! Police let me in there! Max no difference who I am. Just let me in! Dismay seem funny to you, but I'm scared! Luke out! There's a ghost right behind you! [Soup] Soup-er natural beings are in this house! Dawn leave me alone! Owl you know to let me in if I don't knock? And, my favorite from elsewhere: Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?