SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gary Taylor who wrote (13413)2/11/2000 10:41:00 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62552
 
DEFINITIONS BY GENDER

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car\'s hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman\'s bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one\'s self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one\'s partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.



To: Gary Taylor who wrote (13413)2/11/2000 1:18:00 PM
From: John Carragher  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62552
 
>Just some facts...if you're bored.
>
>If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
>enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!)
>
>*If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
>to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now, that's more like it!)
>
>*The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
>squirt blood 30 feet.
>
>*A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a
>pig!)
>
>*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not
>over that pig thing!)
>
>*Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is
>that why Flipper was always smiling? And, why isn't the pig included in
>this list?)
>
>*On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
>
>*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmm.....)
>
>*A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
>
>*The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight
>and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking
>little bottles of...? Did the gov't pay for this research??)
>
>*Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew???...Who cares!)
>
>*The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
>the length of a football field.
>
>*A cockroach will live nine days without it's head before it starves to
>death.
>
>*The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
>body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. ("Honey, I'm
>home. What the....")
>
>*Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig...quality
>over quantity!)
>
>*Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, jeez!)
>
>*Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
>
>*An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like
>that.)
>
>*Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too!)
>
>*Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown. BUT, it
>only takes 14 muscles to extend your arm and smack them upside the head.
>
and if you didn't find that funny,


HomeMailHotSubjectMarksPeopleMarksKeepersSettings
Terms Of UseContact UsCopyright/IP PolicyPrivacy PolicyAbout UsFAQAdvertise on SI
© 2025 Knight Sac Media.  Data provided by Twelve Data, Alpha Vantage, and CityFALCON News