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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (13659)	3/2/2000 6:47:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

"The US Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." - Jay Leno

To: Edwarda who wrote (13659)	3/2/2000 2:03:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The Confessional A new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on, and 'I understand. How did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next?'"

To: Edwarda who wrote (13659)	3/4/2000 9:36:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62549

The first Jewish woman is elected president. She calls her mother: "Mama, I've won the elections, you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony." "I don't know, what would I wear?' "Don't worry, I'll send you a wonderful dressmaker." "But how will I get there?" "I'll send you an airplane." "But it's such a schlep to the airport." "Mama, I'll send you a limousine to take you to the airport." "And what will I do when I get to Washington?' "There'll be a helicopter waiting. And after the ceremony you'll come with me to a lovely party." "But you know I only eat Kosher." "I'll be sure the food for you is Kosher. Just come Mama." "Okay, okay, if it makes you happy." The great day comes and Mama, beautifully dressed, is seated between two Supreme Court Justices. She nudges the gentleman on her right and says, "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible....her brother's a doctor!"