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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (13737)	3/9/2000 2:46:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

Oh, my, yes! Thanks! One for you in return: A Delta Air Lines jet was traversing Arizona on a clear day. The copilot was bombarding passengers with remarks about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right side of our cabin, you can see Meteor Crater. A major tourist attraction in northern Arizona, it was formed when a lump of nickel and iron weighing 300,000 tons, 150 feet across, struck the earth at 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim: "Wow! It just missed the highway!"

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (13737)	3/18/2000 9:45:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (5) \| Respond to of 62554

The Top 14 Signs You're at an AOL Theme Park 14> "Twice as many rides -- all 40% slower!!" 13> The neighboring "Microsoft Theme Park" keeps trying to connect up its carriages to your cash register. 12> The really good rides you keep hearing about aren't accessible at all. 11> Your ticket is good for "500 free hours!" but the fine print reminds you that all free hours must be used today. 10> The sign outside the bigtop tent reads, "We're sorry, all circus are busy right now. Please come back later." 9> Ride attendants keep insisting they're busty young vixens despite the fact that they're all over 40, dirty, and male. 8> None of the rides work, but big color pictures make it easy to find your way around. 7> A spiffy new look to the roller coaster since last time you visited, but it's still just as rusty, squeaky and dangerous. 6> Even though you've paid your monthly entrance fee, you can't get into the park any time except between midnight and six a.m. 5> Ten million visitors a day, and all they want to do is ride the merry-go-round. 4> The entire park is run by monkeys chained to typewriters. 3> You're visitor number 1,267,866 in a park that only has room for 2350. 2> "We're sorry, but the 'Mr. Case's Obscenely Long Ride Line' ride is unavailable. Please try again soon." and the Number 1 Sign You're at an AOL Theme Park... 1> IT'S AN ALL-CAPS WORLD AFTER ALL!