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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (14009)	4/5/2000 2:08:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

More Questions from Baba ben Bebo the Wise... Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when one cannot drink and drive? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why is not 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Why ARE there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? (Speaking hypothetically of course!) If 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how does TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (14009)	4/5/2000 10:21:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

"Tell Me The Truth, Doc!" She had been seeing the psychoanalyst for years, pouring out her heart to him twice a week. However, she was making no progress, and the doctor didn't believe she ever would. "Mrs. Johnson," he said at the end of one session, "do you think these visits are doing you any good?" "Not really," she said. "My inferiority complex is as strong as ever." "Ah, Mrs. Johnson," the doctor said, "I have something to tell you. You don't have an inferiority complex. You are, in fact, inferior."