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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Didi who wrote (14888)	6/7/2000 9:53:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62543

Cheaters Never Win and Winners Never Cheat But Sometimes on a Diet You GOT to Bend the Rules... "Minimizing Caloric Intake by Situational Combinations" * If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. * When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do. * Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake. * If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner. Encourage others to eat more. * Movie related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are not part of one's personal fuel. * Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich, ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae. * Broken cookie pieces contain no fat - the process of breaking causes fat leakage. Exception: Cookies sold by Texas D" Lites distributors. Great "Meal Replacement" with little or no fat content, low in calories, lots of fiber, protein, and other nutritional ingredients. * Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories, e.g.: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. Special Note: Since brown is a universal color chocolate may be substituted for any other food color. * Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples of no calorie foods - Ice Cream, Frozen pies, frozen Milky Ways, and popsicles.