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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: fiberman who wrote (15501)	7/31/2000 5:26:04 PM
From: clappyssidekick	Respond to of 62549

One night a wife woke up to notice that her husband was missing. Then she heard someone sobbing downstairs in the kitchen. It turned out to be her husband. She asked him why he was crying, and he said, "Remember that one night when your dad caught us . . . you know." "Yes I remember," she answered. "Remember he said I either had to marry you or go to jail." "Yes," the wife said. "Well, I would have gotten out today."

To: fiberman who wrote (15501)	7/31/2000 7:31:41 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Hey Fiberman, how's it going.....I know you will appreciate this: Subject: Life in the Bay Area You know you're from the Bay Area when ... 1. Your household income is $200K and you can't afford shoes for the kids. 2. You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood. 3. You know what DSL stands for. 4. You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho and pad thai. 5. You met your neighbors once. 6. When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance. 7. Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay. 8. You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an "old-timer". 9. You have a special drawer devoted to T-shirts with the company logo. 10. You sign a lease on a studio apartment for $1800.00 per/month exclaiming "It was a steal". 11. You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer. 12. You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor. 13. Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter. 14. You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $40 a week on gas. 15. Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies. 16. You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America. 17. Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home. 18. You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if someone in management will make you stop wearing slippers. 19. You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back in commute traffic. 20. You could walk to the market in 45 minutes, but taking public transit adds another three hours and you still have to walk 45 minutes. 21. You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer. 22. You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world