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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Frederick Smart who wrote (84742)	8/3/2000 4:19:19 PM
From: jbe	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

FS, I do not think you grasped the point I was trying to make. In the first place, I did not ask you whether you had "served" in a war, but whether you had been in a war zone -- as a soldier, as an observer, or as a "targeted" civilian. Anyone who has been knows what "fear" is, and indeed would not survive if he/she did not feel it at all. I would agree with you on only one point: after it is all over, many people suffer grievously, and for years, with post-traumatic stress syndrome, and thus have to learn how to "erase from their consciousnes thousands of hours of memories of hate, anger, death and destruction." At that point, fear no longer serves a useful purpose; it is maladaptive, as they say. But while the bloodbath is going on, fear is "adaptive": it is what spurs you to "fight or flee." If you do neither, you are not going to last very long, as I originally said. jbe

To: Frederick Smart who wrote (84742)	8/3/2000 4:29:02 PM
From: one_less	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 108807

I know that I am going to be sorry, again, for reentering this but here goes...one more try. It really bothers me to see people misapply the term forgiveness. What I consider my greatest strengths or virtues, may be the very things you are racing around to forgive me for. To forgive me for things that I value and nurture in my character is very annoying and in fact anger producing. People deserve to be forgiven the things for which they are experiencing remorse and attempting to correct....period. To withhold forgiveness in these situations is destructive of your self and others. Think about the difference FS. Once again to go around forgiving everyone for everything is not meaningless...it is less than that, it is negative in that it discounts forgiveness for things that are truly offenses. It also reeeeeeks of self righteousness.