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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: clappyssidekick who wrote (15552)	8/4/2000 5:34:32 PM
From: clappyssidekick	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A man walks up to an attractive woman at a bar. "Do you want to dance?" asks the man. "I don't care much for this song and wouldn't be caught dead dancing with you anyway," snips the woman. "Oh, excuse me, you must have misunderstood -- I said you look FAT in those pants!!" +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, gulps it down, looks in his pocket then orders another one. He gulps that one down, looks in his pocket again, then orders another one. He does this about 7 or 8 more times when the bartender finally asks, "Every time you finish a drink you look in your pocket. What's in your pocket?" The man replies, "Oh... I have a picture of my wife in there. I drink until she looks good, then I go home."

To: clappyssidekick who wrote (15552)	8/5/2000 8:33:30 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Some evidence that you are getting older. ...your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," > and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" > > ...your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes > and you're barefoot. > > ...a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker > opens the garage door nearest your car. > > ...you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. > > ...going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. > > ...when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. > > ...when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor > instead of by the police. > > ..."getting a little action" means I don't need to take > any fiber today. > > ..."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. > > ... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!