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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (15951)	9/2/2000 1:50:21 AM
From: MikeyT	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62549

A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road in the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the women leans out the window and yells, "PIG!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies, *"BITCH!"* They each continue on their way and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would only listen...

To: Barney who wrote (15951)	9/4/2000 4:29:21 PM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude. "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the man, "How did you know?" Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far." The man below responded, "You must be a manager." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."