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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MikeyT who wrote (15956)	9/2/2000 8:16:23 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Idiots in Service: >> > This week, ALL our phones went dead, and I had to call the phone repair >> > people. They promised to be out between 8:00AM and 7:00PM. When I >asked >> > if they could give me a smaller time window, he asked, "Would you like >us >> > to call before we come?" He also requested that we report future >outages >> > by e-mail. (?????Does your e-mail work without a telephone line??????) >> > >> > Idiots at Work: >> > I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk >> > noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. >> > She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the >> > card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary >to >> > compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just >signed >> > on the receipts. So, I signed the credit card in front of her. She >> > carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the >> > receipt.....as luck would have it, THEY MATCHED!!! >> > >> > Idiots in the Neighborhood: >> > I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the >> > local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer >> > Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Too many deer were being hit by >> > cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there. >> > >> > Idiots in Food Service: >> > My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the >> > individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was >> > sorry, but they only had iceberg. >> > >> > IDIOT SIGHTINGS: >> > >> > Sighting #1: >> > I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee >> > asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" >I >> > said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled >and >> > nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask." >> > >> > Sighting #2: >> > The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. >I >> > was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of >> > mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained >that >> > it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, >> > appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" >> > >> > Sighting #3: >> > At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the >> > company due to 'downsizing', our manager spoke up and said, "This is >fun. >> > We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was >spoken. >> > We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an >> > approaching truck. >> > >> > Sighting #4: >> > I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself >> > and for the life of her, could not understand why her system >> > would not turn on. >> > >> > Sighting #5: >> > When my husband and arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our >> > car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We >> > went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly >to >> > unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, >I >> > instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," >I >> > announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young >> > man, "I already got that side." >> > >> > There, now, don't you feel better????

To: MikeyT who wrote (15956)	9/2/2000 3:52:52 PM
From: Brian777	Respond to of 62549

punchline to msg 15957... ... as the woman rounds the next corner, she crashes into Hillary Clinton in the middle of the road. If only women would only listen...