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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: lee kramer who wrote (16038)	9/7/2000 9:31:31 AM
From: CO	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSAIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please? THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?

To: lee kramer who wrote (16038)	9/7/2000 11:37:16 AM
From: Susan G	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

That's exactly why I sent the post to you, lee, I thought it was perfect for the doc!

To: lee kramer who wrote (16038)	9/20/2000 11:35:16 PM
From: Susan G	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

30 Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid A few clowns short of a circus A few fries short of a Happy Meal An experiment in Artificial Stupidity A few beers short of six-pack A few peas short of a casserole Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead One Fruit Loop shy of full bowl One taco short of a combination plate A few feathers short of a whole duck All foam, no beer Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel Too much yardage between the goalposts An intellect rivaled only by garden tools As smart as bait Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor Forgot to pay his brain bill Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels His belt doesn't go through all the loops If he had another brain, it would be lonely No grain in the silo Proof that evolution can go in reverse Receiver is off the hook Several nuts short of a full pouch He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down