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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TCGNJ who wrote (17336)	12/14/2000 8:55:12 PM
From: stock leader	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62574

here's another quickie.... the professor posted semester grades outside his office. Pat looked at the posting and noticed an "F" next to his name. so Pat went to the professors office and the professor said" yes, it is no mistake, i flunked you this semester" so Pat replied " you flunked me???, flunk you..."

To: TCGNJ who wrote (17336)	12/14/2000 9:19:40 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62574

Phone Charges The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers. "What is that phone for?" he asks the pontiff. "It's my direct line to the Lord!" The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists that the Rabbi try it out, and, so indeed, he is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him. After hanging up the Rabbi says. "Thank you very much. This is great! I want to pay for my phone charges." The Pope, of course, refuses. The Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in. He checks the counter on the phone and says: "All right! The charges are 100,000 lira." The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over a packet of bills. A few months later the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit. In the Chief Rabbi's chambers he sees a phone identical to his and learns it also is a direct line to the Lord.The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi's phone. The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the Pope chats away. After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges. The Rabbi looks on the phone counter and says: "1 Shekel." The Pope looks surprised: "Why so cheap!?!" The Rabbi smiles: "Local call."

To: TCGNJ who wrote (17336)	12/14/2000 10:28:04 PM
From: stock leader	Respond to of 62574

a guy walks into the local pub after a long day of work. but to his surprise the place is almost empty! but then he peers down to the end of the bar and notices a knock-out well-proportioned blonde breast feeding her baby. He can hardly believe his eyes. so he motions to the bartender and then points to the baby and says to the bartender "i'll have what he's having" LOL