To: Ahda who wrote (1876 ) 4/10/2001 9:49:12 PM From: Abner Hosmer Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 24758 I do know there are many boys who don't know what having a male around them is. until they have one who is willing to share with them the things he knows and that mostly is being a friend. Males like to bind with males it helps them know who they are and why they are as they are. Lesson number one about being a male is that other males are going to knock you down, kick your ass, step on your face, spit in your mouth, and laugh their guts out about it. Men take this for granted, this is the first thing you learn in life. Woe to the wimp who cannot give as good as he gets! Furthermore, there is not a person in the world to whom to appeal for sympathy. Your Dad? Forget it. Females? Ha ha ha!! And woe to the boy who appeals to mommy! He is lost before he has even started, he will be ostracized and tortured all of his days. This is the long hidden "secret" of male success, especially white male success. There is no one to cry to, no one to blame. You know you will have the door slammed in your face time after time, the world does not give a sh#t about you. No one is going to bend over backwards to accommodate your "needs" or your ideas. The difference is that we know this from the very beginning, we accept this as the primary fact of life almost immediately. A white male crying foul, I can just hear it. Ha ha ha!! Same thing happens to women and they cry to the boss or to HR, or they go get a lawyer, or something unfair has been perpetrated on them. They can't get used to the fact that this is the way the world works. Men learn early on through competitive behavior how to organize themselves in a cooperative manner to get things done. All too frequently, women haven't a clue how to fit into a group effort, and they wind up crying foul and seeking a power outside the system (Daddy) to support them because their feelings have been hurt, they have somehow been violated and abused. Usually meaning that someone disagreed with them or otherwise did not cough up the desired response. The primary thing a male misses by not having a father is the awareness that he is going to get his ass kicked if he does not conform to certain civilized rules of behavior.