Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dayuhan who wrote (11442)	4/15/2001 9:04:57 PM
From: Lane3	Respond to of 82486

Do you know why that particular girl was selected? Do you know if the elaborate scenario is something that evolved from more minor mistreatment of this particular girl or if the scenario was devised first and the girl selected to play the victim role as a later step in the process? Karen

To: Dayuhan who wrote (11442)	4/15/2001 9:10:15 PM
From: Mac Con Ulaidh	Respond to of 82486

Found the article ~ a good search string and Mamma.com do wonders ~ This time last year, my happy, friendly seventh-grade daughter was voted off the island. The stars aligned, the dice rolled, the ballots were cast and she was "it." She went from being a member of the "in crowd" to becoming its designated exile. She was talked about, hated, despised, not invited, ridiculed but mostly, most cruelly, ignored. mamma15.mamma.com

To: Dayuhan who wrote (11442)	4/15/2001 9:17:01 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

Steven when this sort of thing happens, and if it ever happens to your kids, the first thing that needs to be done is to treat it very seriously and make sure all adults involved are treating it seriously. Children know when adults are serious. If adults have a "that's just the way kids are" attitude, kids know it. If the incident was treated seriously the girls should probably have to do some serious talking with each other led by an adult who understands the issues involved. They need to be led in some good group exercises in empathy too, to learn why, as humane people, we never treat other people that way. There are some good films that help get this message across to children as well. And there are many stories about bullying, that examine the targets feelings, which probably need to be assigned to these girls.

To: Dayuhan who wrote (11442)	4/15/2001 9:19:33 PM
From: Patricia Trinchero	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

Steven, WOW.....that is an extremely cruel situation and scary because the individuals actually plotted in unison to emotionally hurt the one ostracized with an orchestrated effort. I think what you are seeing is the beginning of something similar to a gang. Here in Ca there are hispanic females that are gang like and frequently target other girls. However, it is for a reason like jealousy or envy of some kind. If someone's boyfriend happens to think another girl is Foxy then she could be targeted by the "gang" and be threatened. All the girls in the group need counseling and need it quickly...IMHO. Where there is an organized effort, there is probably a leader. All of the girls should be questioned and find out the groups power structure. There had to be a reason for the hatred and the reason needs to be discovered. Good luck.......I wish I could talk longer cause my three sons went through their share of being bullied. All my sons grew in their self confidence by being taught various methods of self defense both physical and emotional. One last point.......look at the parents of the children who are in the "hate group". You might find an example of something similar in one of the families. Good luck, Pat

To: Dayuhan who wrote (11442)	4/15/2001 11:17:28 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

That story makes me tremble. It makes me feel sick. If a child of mine was involved in it, she would never forget what followed. I would do all I could to make her and every girl involved understand the depth of shame I felt in her behalf and that she should feel. Why it would take a lot of self-examination and remorse and seeking of forgiveness to begin to set things right. I think they should beg for forgiveness on their knees. I think the parents of those girls should beg the victim child and her parents for forgiveness on their knees. It makes me so angry that I wouldn't trust myself to handle the situation. I sure hope you tell Joey that if he ever hears of anything so horrible going on again, he should tell you immediately. I think there should be deep classroom and weekend discussion with the children, especially those girls, of the phenomena of bullying, scapegoating, and social sadism. I think the participating girls should be asked to write essays telling exactly how it made them feel to be sadistic bullies, and to write reports on their opinions, line by line or idea by idea, to studies they are assigned on these subjects. I think they need to see what they did as behavior on a spectrum with other evil behaviors. I think the participant girls should be asked to volunteer, one at a time, to be shunned for a week. It won't be the same, but it might show them a little something, and it might help the victim child to see it happen to others and to be offered the opportunity to be kind, if she wanted to, as no one was kind to her. I suddenly remember something I haven't thought of in years. When my sister's son was a young boy, my sister found out that he and a group of his friends had been taunting with anti-semitic slogans the old Jewish shopkeeper of the little local deli/grocery store -- a survivor of one of the well known concentration camps, a man with numbers tattooed on his arm. My almost hysterical emotional reaction to this story you've just told brought back what happened to my sister. When she heard it, she went sort of berserk with shame and horror and grief. She grabbed her son, she was crying, she dragged him to the store, she told him as they ran there what a concentration camp was, what that man had lived through, how terribly cruel what the boy had participated in was. She took him in and, weeping, apologized to the man, explained that her son didn't know what he was saying, saying how ashamed she was of the boy's behavior. I'm sure my nephew learned something from his mother's shame and apologies. (And he's a wonderful fellow today.) I'm sure no book would say my sister did the right thing, adults aren't supposed to lose control, and it's true she's a bit nutty, but... in a way, such a direct emotional reaction may not be so wrong. If my child had been involved in that school episode, I would think a profound apology on my part, public, in front of my child, to both her parent and to her, would be an appropriate lesson. Oh, that poor little girl. But I'm so freaked out by the story that I'm not sure of my judgement.