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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: norm chin who wrote (19400)	6/5/2001 11:52:44 AM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62569

I'm a lawyer--sue me.

To: norm chin who wrote (19400)	6/5/2001 11:56:39 AM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

I'm a lawyer-- go ahead, make my day - sue me. But first you need to have a cause of action. Seems to me that someone who calls me sick and pathetic shouldn't be threatening to sue anyone. Of course, I'm not sure a fruit/veggie has standing. Too bad that I find myself in a battle of wits with someone who's unarmed. OJ: At the mortuary the deceased woman's wife was quite upset when she discovered that they had dressed her husband in someone else's brown suit. She had brought a blue suit for the occassion. The proprietor profusely appologized and assured her that they would take get the right suit and put in on her husband's body. After she left, the proprietor shouted to his assistant, "Jim, switch the heads on caskets 3 and 4."

To: norm chin who wrote (19400)	6/5/2001 12:05:27 PM
From: Buckey	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62569

Norm Give it up - This is a joke thread - you had issue with one joke - enough. Noone cares to read about it. Rememember it a joke thread - IF everyone posted 12 times about their objections to each and every joke we would be on joke followed by 100 posts back and forth about the tastefulniess of the joke. Now I have posted one more post with no joke in it. Imagine if a blond could figure out how to post a message - Then we would be in trouble if they posted an objection to evry blond joke

To: norm chin who wrote (19400)	6/5/2001 2:02:43 PM
From: rudedog	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62569

geez o meany pete, norm... most humor is a twist on things that touch us, often in an effort to put the scary or sad events in the world in some perspective. I don't happen to know the royal family of nepal personally and frankly the death of my 4 year old daughter's catfish was a much bigger deal here in texas, so please refrain from any jokes about catfish, or fish at all for that matter. Did you think the "sure pa" joke was funny? If not, would it have been funny if there were no "death" associated with it? If your life depended on it, could you come up with a joke that was actually funny which was related to the news event about death in the nepal royal family? OJ - NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go -- and couldn’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.” The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.” “Why so much more than the others?” asked the interviewer. The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.”