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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: David Wright who wrote (21695)	12/17/2001 8:48:39 AM
From: Guardian	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Next time you are washing your hands and complain > because the water > temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how > things used to > be....Here are some facts about the1500's: > Most people got married in June because they took their > yearly bath in May > and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they > were starting to > smell; so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide > the body odor. > Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The > man of the house > had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the > other sons and men, > then the women and finally the children-last of all the > babies. By then > the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone > in it-hence the > saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." > Houses had thatched roofs -- thick straw -- piled high, > with no wood > underneath. It was the only place for animals to get > warm, so all the > dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in > the roof. When it > rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals > would slip and fall off > the roof-hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." > There was nothing to stop things from falling into the > house. This posed a > real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other > droppings could really > mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big > posts and a sheet hung > over the top afforded some protection. That's how > canopy beds came into > existence. > The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something > other than dirt, hence > the saying "dirt poor." > The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in > the winter when > wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help > keep their footing. > As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh > until when you opened > the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece > of wood was placed > in the entranceway, hence, a "thresh hold." > In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big > kettle that always > hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and > added things to the > pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much > meat. They would eat > the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get > cold overnight and > then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had > food in it that had > been there for quite > awhile -- hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas > porridge cold, peas > porridge in the pot nine days old." > Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel > quite special. When > visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to > show off. It was a > sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." > They would cut off > a little to share with guests and would all sit around > and "chew the fat." > Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a > high acid content > caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing > lead poisoning and > death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for > the next 400 years > or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. > Most people did not have pewter plates, but had > trenchers, a piece of wood > with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often > trenchers were made from > stale bread which was so old and hard that they could be > used for quite > some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of > times worms and mold > got into the wood and old bread. After eating off > wormy, moldy trenchers, > one would get "trench mouth." > Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the > burnt bottom of the > loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, > or "upper crust." > Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The > combination would > sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone > walking along the > road would take them for dead and prepare them for > burial. They were laid > out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the > family would gather > around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would > wake up. Hence the > custom of holding a "wake." > England is old and small and the local folks started > running out of places > to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would > take the bones to a > "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these > coffins, 1 out of 25 > coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside, > and they realized > they had been burying people alive. So they thought > they would tie a > string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the > coffin and up > through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would > have to sit out in > the > graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen > for the bell; thus, > someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered > a "dead ringer." > And that's the truth... (whoever said that History was > boring?)