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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (22012)	1/10/2002 5:29:36 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Respond to of 62558

What cars say about their owners. Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars. Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars. Acura NSX - I'm impotent. Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires. Buick Park Avenue - I'm older than 34 of the 50 states. Cadillac Eldorado - I'm a pimp. Cadillac Seville - I'm a very good Mary Kay salesman. Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people. Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis. Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather. Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well. Ferrari Testarossa - I'm known to prematurely ejaculate. Ford Mustang Cobra - I slow down to 85 in school zones. Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them. Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit. Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45 - I'm a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6 - I'm so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle. Mercury Grand Marquis - I'm an AARP member and need my social security for the car payment. Mercedes 500SL - I can go 0-60 in about 6 seconds if the car doesnt fall apart at 50. Mercedes 560SEL - I'm dating a mechanic. Mercedes ML320 - I'm a badass soccer mom. Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler. Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either. Nissan Maxima - I couldn't afford an Infiniti. Peugeot 505 Diesel - I'm on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List. Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena. Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock. Pontiac GTO - Gas, Tires, & Orgasms. Pontiac Aztek - Too easy. Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie. Porsche 944 - I'm dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal. Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic). Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu. Toyota Camry - I'm still in the closet. Toyota Land Cruiser- I would go off road if I could. Volkswagen Microbus - I'm trippin right now. Volkswagen Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns. Volvo 740 Wagon - I'm very frightened of my wife