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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (22670)2/27/2002 1:40:35 PM
From: Karen Lawrence  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
Biblical Bumper Stickers

Adam: "You are what you eat."

Eve: "At least he doesn't compare me to his mother."

Abraham: "I'm goin' not knowin'. "

Noah: "Honk if you believe in treading water."

Moses: "From a basket case to the promised land."

Elizah: "When Jezebel ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Balaam: "My other donkey talks!"

At the Sinai desert: "Winding road next 40 years"

At the Red Sea: "Caution! Subject to sudden flooding"



To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (22670)2/27/2002 10:02:51 PM
From: sandintoes  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
I'm already for the flack I know I'll get from this one!

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.

I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????

I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

DON'T call me a GIRL,
a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!