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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (23856)	6/17/2002 12:28:44 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you b^&%h". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick your a^&". Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For someone who can't fly you're an idiot!"

To: The Philosopher who wrote (23856)	6/17/2002 1:26:57 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

Being from the Northwest, I can attest that most of these are true. You might be from the Northwest if you: > >* Feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash. > > * Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means. > >* Know more people who own boats than air conditioners. > >* Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant. > > * Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" >signal. > > * Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's >not a real mountain. > >* Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye >salmon. > >* Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, >and Willamette. > >* Consider swimming an indoor sport. > >* Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Thai food. > > * In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark- >while only working eight-hour days. > >* Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho. > > * Are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain, and >Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers." > > * You can't wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks." > > * Have no concept of humidity without precipitation. > > * Know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of >mind. > >* Can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you can't see through >the cloud cover. > >* Say, "The mountain is out" when it's a pretty day and you can >actually see it. > >* Put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still >wear your hiking boots and parka. > >* Switch to your sandals when it gets above 60, but keep the >socks on. > >* Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain. > > * Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists. > >* Knew immediately that the view out "Frasier's" window was fake. > > * Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old >ones after such a long time. > >* Switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day. You use a down >comforter in the summer. > >* Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 2 feet of water during >raging rainstorm without flinching. > >* Design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat. > >* Know that driving is better in the winter because almost >everybody stays home. > > * Think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.