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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Barney who wrote (24465)8/20/2002 12:07:44 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62552
 
Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.

- Shawn Alexander



To: Barney who wrote (24465)8/20/2002 3:02:59 AM
From: sandintoes  Respond to of 62552
 
HWL....I hate to see hairy toes!!!



To: Barney who wrote (24465)8/20/2002 9:22:49 AM
From: Jim Spitz  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62552
 
Hey! What's wrong with long toes!?!

I was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo the other day south of Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift ?"
"Yes, I sure do," I replied.
"You a Democrat or Republican," asked the old man.
"Republican," I replied.
"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
Again, I gave the same answer, "Republican."
The driver gave me the finger and drove off.
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Democrat or Republican.
"Democrat!", I shouted.
"Hop in!", replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher on her thighs.
Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.
"What's the matter?", she asked.
"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."