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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Poet who wrote (26696)	2/16/2003 7:39:19 PM
From: Ish	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

No. that's not great, more like perverted like TP is. This is a joke thread and not TP's all hate Bush thread. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the raccoon it could be done.

To: Poet who wrote (26696)	2/16/2003 8:03:18 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

First you'll have to convince me there is enough intelligence in TP to harbor a sense of humor. Bill, Hillary and Al Gore find themselves at a temple fund-raiser. A White House aide, who refused to go "on the record," explained, "It's a temple, stupid. You can't take money from a temple. It's God's money." Bill ponders this for a moment and suggested, "Ok. Here's what we'll do. We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money in the air and what lands inside the circle we'll keep for the DNC." "No, no, no!" Shouts Hillary. "We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw all the money in the air and what lands outside the circle we'll keep for the DNC." Algore reaches over, grabs all the money and stuffs it into his pockets. Walking back to his limo, Algore calls over his shoulder, "God doesn't need the money. It's not like he has to run for re-election."

To: Poet who wrote (26696)	2/16/2003 10:43:07 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

I seem to recall that your response was somewhat different when there were a few jokes savaging our last president's sexual indescretions in the White House. At that point you seemed to feel that highly partisan political "humor" didn't belong on this thread. BTW, have you also forgotten that messages here should be accompanied by OJs? OJ: The following quotes are taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians... "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better." "On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared." "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night." "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983." "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing." "Discharge status: Alive but without permission." "The patient refused an autopsy." "The patient has no past history of suicides." "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully." "The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days." "She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December." "The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room." "The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch." "Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up." "She is numb from her toes down." "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home." "The skin was moist and dry." "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."