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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (26710)	2/17/2003 8:07:50 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN ...2003 EDITION: 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. 5. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 6. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 7. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 8. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list. 9. You think a sub division is part of a math problem. 10. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 11. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 12. You have a rag for a gas cap. 13. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does. 14. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean. 15. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 16. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 17. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota. 18. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side. 19. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. 20. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 21. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart. 22. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home. 23. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. 24. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

To: The Philosopher who wrote (26710)	2/17/2003 12:52:35 PM
From: The Rabbit	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

Not a response to the person in the "To:" field but to all: This is a joke thread, wh've had this discussion a thousand times. The inevitable result: A joke is in the eye of the reader, and if you are offended, either go away or hit the next button. That is what it's for. OJ: ======== There are those who think they have say over what gets posted here, like they own the world or a unique insight into the first amendment or SI's terms of use. THAT TO ME IS THE MOST LAUGHABLE THING OF ALL. Disclaimer: I am not a member of an organized political party: I am a pinko commie lefty liberal bleeding heart Osama-hugging Democrat who believes that speaking out against the administration is a tenet of the country I love and is EXACTLY what the first amendment is about. Never heard any conservatives complaining when Clinton was being bashed here... and I love a good Clinton joke as much as I enjoy a Bush joke. As to Perot jokes, well, those are TRUE, so maybe we do need discussion on whether they belong here.